I sat in the courtroom telling my story of the evil that happened that one cold morning the year before. I cried every time I answered a question regarding my son. I sat in that chair justifying myself of why I offered help to the one I once called a “friend.” “How could I be so stupid to help that person? How could this person lie about me and the situation? And, what about all those men who called themselves religious? And the lawyer who came up with a “nice” story; what have I done to him to make him tell those lies?” I kept asking myself over and over while I was questioned and throughout the day. I felt like the one being prosecuted was me. I felt angry with people who I thought were my ‘friends” and who wouldn’t speak the truth. I felt disgusted by the men who use religion to create an illusion of truthfulness and honesty. I was disappointed in the court system and offended by the lawyer who twisted and bent the facts. I felt alone and I blamed myself for what I was going through and I thought that there was nothing good in this world.
Once in the car on the way home, I realized that justice wasn’t done. New questions came up in my head as we drove. “Why do I feel so hurt about something they did if these people have deceived so many already?” “What do I gain by hating them?” “What do I gain by allowing them to stick around my head?” and the answer was “Nothing! I would gain absolutely nothing positive. If I let anger and hatred consume me I would only become one of them and it was not worth it!” My anger towards them became pity. I felt sorry for them and my so called “friend.” I was shocked that these people have fallen so low to destroy their own personal integrity by proclaiming something they were not and by lying. At that point I wasn’t angry, but I still felt that there was no good in the world. How could that be?
When I got home and started walking towards the door, I started crying. I felt that I have failed the one little person that I loved so much ever since the moment I discovered he was coming into my life. But at the same time I felt so much relief. I knew that what happened to me was the only way to remove all the evil that once I let into my life and into my home even though I was trying to help. Those tears were my way of saying thanks to many people that showed me support, understanding, and who gave me a word of comfort. There were so many new good people in my life. Friendships were created during those dark times, and I was blessed to be part of them. I wasn’t alone as I had thought. The best memories of my life were created, and these were good! So, I wiped my tears off, I walked in home and smiled as the day ended.
Today, as I sit here listening to my son playing with his dad. Knowing that he has the best of his father and I. Seeing my little man growing and learning. Seeing how much love he gives and how much he gets. Dreaming of the whole life he has ahead of him to find on his own the wonderful things this world has to offer. Imagining the people he will call friends and family. It is now that I am reaffirmed there is good in this world. How couldn’t that be? WE make it good. We choose to make this world good. With this said, and after you made it through reading my post I will leave you one of my favorite quotes and wish you all to find the good in this world.