- What’s it like going from being single to being a (step)mom to four?
It’s hard. Sometimes I have to lock myself in my room and cry by myself so that I can simply gather my thoughts without losing my mind. I feel small- it’s amazing how hurtful little people can be, unintentionally. Sometimes I feel like it is too much and I am not cut out for it. Most of the time, it is rewarding and they smile when I pick them up or tease me the second we get out the door. Most of the time my entire heart is exploding with joy from these little babes. But sometimes- I can be overwhelmed by screams and stomping feet, dirty clothes and unkempt rooms. It is a challenge every single day.
- How do you deal with sending your kids back and forth?
I welcome it with open arms. It’s a release for me and a way to feel like I get my sanity back- in the best way possible. It makes it really easy to date my husband and not have to pay for sitters. If we could have them full time, I’d take them in a heartbeat… Okay maybe on the second beat. I love them and enjoy time with them, but a really cool thing about having lots of parents is that you get breaks from one another and are less likely to drive one another bonkers.
- Do you and the biological mom get along?
This one really irritates me. It feels like the one who is questioning always is searching for drama. I am not about to share the nitty-gritty of our relationship with a random stranger who thinks it’s crazy that I’m 26 with a husband and 4 kids. Bye, Felicia.
Mom 1: Cool as hell. Have been separated for most of the kids’ lives, happily in a relationship with someone for over 8 years- we get along just fine.
Mom 2: Still unsure about another woman being around her kids. Nice to my face, bashes
me to kids and husband. I suck it up.
- What do the kids call you?
This one also drives me nuts. What do you mean what do they call you? They call me to see if I’m going to be late or to tell me they want ice cream. Can I give them your number?
They call me by my first name.
- When are you going to have kids of your own?
Please pay extreme attention to the look on my face when you ask this. Do not ask any step parent this question.
We have kids. These kids are mine. I love them with my entire being and would wrestle crocodiles and Harambe (RIP) for these kids. I fight with them just like their mom does. I clean up their messes and wash their clothes and throw away toys when they’re not looking, just like every parent. They are mine.
When am I going to physically push a human being out of my body and let you finally deem it as “Mine?” Whenever the hell I feel like it.
- What’s it like to have a 20 year old step son while you are 26 years old?
It feels like he’s my kid brother. I don’t even pretend to try to be his parent. I encourage him to come around and have dinner with us, because one of Prince Charming’s flaws is that he’s terrible at planning and communication. So I keep in touch with 20 and try to plan family dinners and never once have picked a t-shirt of his up off the floor or washed his plates, told him to stop chasing his brothers or anything. He asks me advice and at first thought we were super weird (he still sorta does) but he respects me and he tries really hard to buy me Christmas presents. I think it’s actually helpful to my husband because I can relate to what his oldest is going through more than he can.
Questions We Wish You’d Ask Instead:
How is your family?
How are you adjusting?
What ways can I pray for your family?
How is married life?
Would you like to hang out with us?
Written by The Step Momma. I’m so excited she’s collaborating with Fruitland Home!