I don’t like Christmas. At all. Personally, at this point, I can’t explain why I don’t like Christmas, I just do. I get super annoyed that everything is suddenly red and green themed. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no matter how much you personally love Christmas, people who can’t stand the holiday are not going to suddenly have a Hallmark moment and suddenly decide they love the entire mess while simultaneously finding their soul mate in less than three days. That’s not how reality works. Sorry. No matter how much you want everyone’s lives to be a Hallmark Christmas movie, reality is a little different.

One of my biggest annoyances are people who try to convince me I need to love Christmas using the same altered speeches. Year, after year, after year. Here’s my rebuttal:

  1. “It’s the season to give gifts!”

Ooooh, this one. I hate this argument more than anything else. You can always tell a gift that was socially or morally chosen last minute because hey, it’s cheap, it smacks of impersonal social conformity, and will be completely wasted on the receiver overall and is usually some kind of cheap candy. The thought does not always count, people. The thoughtlessness shows. I’d rather be given a card with a signature and a note that a gift than means nothing to you or me and will be making a short journey to the trash can anyway.

  1. “It’s the tastes and scents of Christmas!”

Cinnamon goes well in most everything. Learn to cook with the spice and your house will always smell good- unless you burn broccoli. Then it’s your own fault your house stinks, and trust me, no amount of anything will eliminate the smell of burnt broccoli (long story). I live in Utah. Blue Spruce trees live everywhere. Its smells like Christmas when camping in July. Go trees!

  1. “All the decorations come once a year!”

This implies you can’t decorate year round… which you can. My music teacher growing up usually put up Christmas decorations “when she had time” and they stayed up for a solid month. In January or February. Or March. Once in April. Her schedule was very busy and she enjoyed Christmas, so the decorations were always up when she had a free month. It always made me smile to open the door and see the entire tree complete with wrapped gifts and a train, holly boughs on the corners and what-have-you in late spring. It was awesome.

  1. “Scrooge!

Oddly enough, I love Scrooge before he was visited by the three ghosts, and I even enjoy the completely different character of Scrooge post-ghosts. I even like the whole Christmas Carol and what the story represents- and I generally can’t stand Dickens tales altogether. Scrooge is not a villain, okay? He’s a good guy who is doing what he has to do to get through life in the Victorian and Industrial era which, face it, was pretty depressing for anyone not super rich. It’s amazing he managed to find some happiness at all pre-ghost visiting, really.

I’d also like to point out that Scrooge was not a bad guy overall because technically he didn’t hate Christmas, he just didn’t understand how to love and be loved. Big diff. Plus, even the Grinch was noted for not understanding how Christmas worked either! I’ve read the books! Seen the movies! I get it all right?! I can STILL hate the holiday! Don’t apply inappropriate name calling to the situation!

  1. “It’s family time!”

This one is sort of a two edged sword. I know what it’s like to live far away from your family and only see them certain times of the year. I talked to them frequently and on a regular basis. I currently live close enough to my family to see them frequently or talk with them consistently enough to know that I still love them and they love me. Just because it’s a single time of the year doesn’t mean much to us, I know I’ll see them again in a few weeks and talk to one or two in the meantime.

I hope you enjoy your Christmas season, and don’t badger the haters, we’ll still be here!